Crackpot Argentine Conspiracy Theory of the Day

Argentina needs divine intervention right about now.

I am a true connoisseur of the Latin loonie left; the crazier the better. Devaluation, hyperinflation, you name it and I'm morbidly fascinated with the depths of economic mismanagement they can achieve. I relish Peronesque cults of personality, over-the-top socialist rhetoric, and retro-Stalinesque efforts to control the commanding heights of the economy. The prize statement on the state of the Latin left revival as far as I'm concerned is this one: "Brazil is becoming Argentina, Argentina is becoming Venezuela, and Venezuela is becoming Zimbabwe." Yesterday, we talked about how fiction has become an everyday thing in Venezuela. Today, let us turn to Argentina.

The usual scapegoat for Latin economic mismanagement is the United States. Whenever in doubt, blame America. While I do believe that the US sticks its nose into the business of Latin American countries, it doesn't necessarily do so more than it does elsewhere. What's more, it defies belief that all your problems can be put down to someone else and none to yourself.. However, this recent outburst must top them all in terms of vanity: Argentine President Cristina Kirchner suggests the US is out to topple her government by killing her:

Argentina's President Cristina Kirchner charged in an emotional address that domestic and US interests were pushing to topple her government, and could even kill her.Domestic business interests "are trying to bring down the government, with international (US) help," she said.

Kirchner said that on her recent visit to Pope Francis -- a fellow Argentine whose help she has sought in Argentina's ongoing debt default row -- police warned her about supposed plots against her by Islamic State activists. "So, if something happens to me, don't look to the Mideast, look north" to the United States, Kirchner said at Government House.

But wait, it gets better:

Just hours after the US embassy here warned its citizens to take extra safety precautions in Argentina, an aggravated Kirchner said "when you see what has been coming out of diplomatic offices, they had better not come in here and try to sell some tall tale about ISIS trying to track me down so they can kill me."

The president said local soybean producers unhappy with prices, other exporters and car company executives, all were involved since they would benefit from a devaluation of the peso, which is being pushed lower by her government's selective default.

This woman needs help. Her far-fetched explanation goes like this: commercial interests which stand to benefit from a weaker Argentine peso--soybean producers and carmakers among them--are conspiring with the US government to remove her by all means necessary to hasten the process of devaluation. If I were truly interested in devaluation, I'd quite frankly wish she'd stay put to further mismanage Argentina into another quagmire. 

In the end, there is no better way to destroy a currency than that, and Kirchner seems to be doing a pretty damn good job of it IMHO. Anyone wants to be their next central bank governor?